Barney is a stupid purple dinosaur that eats children and babies. Barney likes to scare the daylights out of little babies because he is a dinosaur, and little babies are scared of dinosaurs. Barney also tortures little children with his irritating baby songs and over-repetitive lessons of the Alphabet, going to school, and manners. Barney also likes to abuse little babies when their parents are working. Dinosaurs are absolutely not the correct role model to 1 year old babies, because little 1 year old's would be scared for life. Barney likes to sing his famous I Love You (song) at the end of his show, stating that he's in love with the kids, and that he likes to kiss the kids on the lips after singing his obnoxious song. Barney is also believed to be gay, because of harassing the little babies on his show, and causing child abuse to them.
Early life (200,000,000 BC-65,000,000 BC) Edit
Barney the Dinosaur was born in 200,000,000 BC with his only father, Godzilla. Barney was such a stupid dinosaur that his father Godzilla actually left Barney when he was only a little dinosaur, because all he did to his father was sing annoying songs to him, and that made Godzilla so angry that he lost his temper, and his anger got so bad that he would eventually turn into a city destroyer. So Barney was left all alone in the wild and all the other dinosaurs stomped all over Barney. Barney never had any friends with other dinosaurs when he was a little dinosaur, because most of the other little dinosaurs were offended by Barney's evil influence of eating human flesh and complete stupidity. Barney originally went to school from 180,000,000 BC-150,000,000 BC and had low grades from his Elementary School records and his High School diploma. This was most likely because all he was interested in was Pre-K and Kindergarten work, and because most of his dinosaur teachers thought of Barney as an "unteachable dinosaur pupil". All that Barney was interested in was "overteaching little human babies and sexually harassing them with artificial love and kisses". By the time Barney went to College, he did very poorly and got all F grades on all of his subjects, but only got a 5% grade on Mental Health. All of his dinosaur teachers were very disappointed with his progress. Barney did not have a degree in his Dinosaur College, because of how terrible he did in his education. During his home time, Barney liked to murder and k*** little human babies and attack other dinosaurs. As Barney went out to live on his own, he liked to attack other dinosaurs who were weaker than him, and became a monstrosity to dinosaurs all over the world. For millions of years later, Barney became the most vicious and idiotic dinosaur of the Prehistoric Age. Around 65,000,000 BC, Barney nearly died after a meteor shower that k***ed all the other dinosaurs, but managed to survive.
The Dinosaur extinction and Barney's survival (65,000,000 BC-1975) Edit
Around 65,000,000 BC, most of the other dinosaurs (except for one) died after a meteor shower struck Earth. However, the only dinosaur that survived the explosion was of course Barney. Although Barney survived, he was still attacking mankind for millions of years. Eventually, Barney was believed to be hiding in a secret cave far out in the wild.
Barney's Secret Reincarnation (1975-1983) Edit
In 1975, Barney came out from his secret cave in the wild and one day attacked millions of innocent people in big cities all over the United States. In the early 1980's, Barney went out to attack many more people and soon many Americans knew the legend of Barney after the US Military forces and Earth scientists discovered Barney lost in the wild all alone. In 1981, Barney was mentioned on ABC News for the terrorist attacks in Iraq. In 1983, Barney became known on the news as the "Evil Purple Menace who attacked mankind".
The Secret Creation of Barney (1983-1988)Edit
In July 1983, a stupid old woman named Sheryl Leach got the crazy idea for a TV show on PBS Kids dedicated to Barney himself. She came up with this disgusting idea as a plan to get her children to learn from an "evil purple dinosaur" named Barney. Barney was originally supposed to be a "teddy bear", but this was changed in 1987 because her children were interested in dinosaurs (probably because they were brain-drained by the horrors of Barney the "Evil Purple Menace"). So this new show was about an evil purple dinosaur who murders babies and children and sings annoying songs to 0 year old babies, in order to teach them to pee on the carpet and make their mothers pissed off. In 1988, the name of the show was supposed to be named Barney and the Backyard Gang. The series eventually premiered on VHS on October 13, 1988.
Barney and the Backyard Gang (1988-1992) Edit
Main article: Barney and the Backyard Gang
On October 13, 1988, Barney and the Backyard Gang was released on VHS, showing Barney the Dinosaur for the first time. The first episode was titled "The Backyard Show". The series of videos lasted from 1988-1991. In total, 8 episodes were released on VHS. The names of the videos in order were, (The Backyard Show, Three Wishes, A Day at the Beach, Waiting for Santa, Campfire Sing-Along, Barney Goes to School, Barney in Concert, and Rock with Barney). The series of videos ended with the 8th episode, "Rock with Barney" on October 20, 1991. However, the series was popular with parents and 0 year old babies, but the only normal person who appreciated it was Satan. Although the series only had 8 episodes released, the show was popular with babies, and Leach decided to air it on PBS Kids as a new TV show starring the evil Barney the Dinosaur. The new show Barney & Friends premiered on PBS Kids on April 6, 1992.
Barney & Friends (1992-2001) Edit
Main article: Barney & Friends
On April 6, 1992, the Antichrist baby show Barney & Friends, premiered on PBS Kids. It became a huge success for babies and parents in the United States and Canada, but it was completely frowned upon by many older kids and adults, especially from the babies' fathers. In the show, Barney the Dinosaur is joined by this gay gang of little kids who worship Barney like he's the Lord, an evil green dinosaur named Baby Bop who likes to play with dolls, an evil yellow dinosaur named BJ who is Baby Bop's protective brother that likes music and marching bands, and an evil orange dinosaur named Riff who also appears on the show sometimes. And these crazy kids are like constantly singing annoying songs to this stuffed purple dinosaur toy, and then he comes to life as this big purple maniac who eats little babies and romantically falls in love with them by kissing the kids on the lips and singing his famous I Love You (song) to them.
In several alleged episodes of the show, Barney is singing annoying songs constantly and the kids try to beat him up while the characters at Sesame Street are going on a quest to kill him, save the world, and also save Children's television. In some parts of these specials, there are some hidden behind the scenes clips of Mr. Rogers, Dora the Explorer, Blue's Clues, and many other baby show characters beating up or blowing up Barney until all that's left is bones and blood!
In 1993, Barney the Dinosaur had an interview with Oprah on Saturday Night Live and explained to her that he liked to "eat young children and murder little babies to death". The interview went viral on the news and Barney was arrested for explaining to parents that he liked to murder little kids, because he is "a bad influence for little kids and babies". After Barney was arrested his show was suspended for 6 months, meanwhile with Barney actually doing drugs and being allegedly drunk for doing illegal drugs and smoking marijuana.
After Barney the Dinosaur returned to the show in 1993, he started working on more new episodes for the show discussing other topics such as "manners, going to school, the ABC's, and feeling sad". However, the show's popularity went up, while Barney soon became a drug-induced dinosaur singing all the time and annoying the hell out of many parents until they would go completely insane. In 1994, Barney the Dinosaur started filming episodes with them and the characters from Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers once again beating him up like they did back in 1992.
In the mid 1990's, a few parodies of Barney the Dinosaur were seen on MTV from popular music artists like Tony Mason for the hit song, Barney's on Fire in 1997. The song was about Barney the Dinosaur being set on fire. There was also a parody of Barney from Weird Al Yankovic with a Barney reference in it. It was called Jurassic Park (song), an infamous hit song from the 1990's. Some of the lyrics of the song were, "I'm afraid those things'll harm me, 'Cause they sure don't act like Barney... ". In 1994, a comic strip was published about a 10 year old boy named Jason writing a letter to PBS telling them that Barney should be eating the kids after he saw Jurassic Park to which his friend Marcus says he would watch the show if that happened. In 1997, a few Evil Barney videos were uploaded on the Internet such as Evil Barney Bus Driver, Evil Barney Babysitter, among many others. In 2001, many kids began making up songs on elementary school playgrounds, with a parody of Barney's famous I Love You (song) being changed to "I Hate You". Many kids sang "I hate you, you hate me... " followed by various threats to killing Barney.
Barney the Murderer (2001-2009) Edit
In 2001, it was reported on CNN that Barney was becoming a serial murderer and planned to abuse millions of children, and join forces with the Teletubbies, The Wiggles, and Sesame Street. The show Barney & Friends was still on, but Barney was becoming even more stupid than before. He was always singing his annoying songs to little babies, and constantly kissing the kids at the end of the episodes like he's falling in love with them. In 2002, TV Guide ranked the show Barney & Friends as #50 on TV Guide's List of Top 50 Worst Shows of All Time (Note: 50 was at the bottom). In 2003, many people uploaded videos on the Internet about how Barney was evil. In 2004, Barney came out with hundreds of VHS tapes featuring Barney and the kids. In 2005, Barney attacked even more babies around the world by hypnotizing them to fall in love with Barney and allegedly having sex with the little babies. In 2006, a vast majority of kids older than 8 years old already hated Barney the Dinosaur. In 2007, thousands of videos on YouTube were uploaded by older kids and adults about Barney getting killed. In July 2007, a secret missing episode of Barney & Friends premiered on PBS Kids. It was about Barney and the kids learning about drugs. A few popular characters were featured in that episode, such as Drew Pickles, Ronald McDonald, SpongeBob SquarePants, and Elmo made a cameo appearance in the episode. Ironically, while the guy in the Barney suit was off set, he was discovered to have been doing drugs and smoking cigarettes while the show was on a commercial break. At the end of the episode, Barney sang his famous I Love You song to the kids. About 5 seconds later, Barney the Dinosaur was shot in the head, and the Weird Al Yankovic song Elmo's Got a Gun played during the credits. In April 2008, PBS Kids found comments on their episodes of Barney & Friends on YouTube with strong language and hilarious humor. In May 2008, many parents officially turned away from Barney because they felt that the show no longer had educational values, and the fact that mostly every 6 year old kid of today would never watch that show again in today's society. In March 2009, Barney was still harassing little babies and making parents pissed off to their heads. In April 2009, Barney became a popular subject on the Internet and in images on Google. Barney & Friends began running season 13 in 2009, but the show was finally going downhill for the first time in forever. In June 2009, Barney once overdosed on cocaine and was eventually rushed to the hospital with symptoms of depression, suicidal thoughts, and mental retardation effects from overdosing on medicine and anti-depressants. In July 2009, Barney experienced some symptoms of brain cancer, suicidal thoughts, and severe depression including Barney saying death threats to himself in the hospital. On September 18, 2009, the show Barney & Friends was officially cancelled for good and gave a sign that the purple dinosaur was soon going to die. On September 18, 2009, Barney the Dinosaur experienced his final moments on Earth with his final words ever spoken. The show was filmed and broadcast on PBS by Barney as, "Barney the Dinosaur: I Will Always Love You!" special featuring Barney's severe lung cancer and difficulty breathing. Barney explained to all his fans that he would be departing from the show and stating that he will always love the babies, and continue haunting little babies' minds and finally with his last words "And remember kids, I will always love you no matter what, so that I can haunt you down for the rest of your life, but the most important thing is that I love you. And remember, I love you!". And at the end of the special you can hear Barney coughing heavily and slowly dying. As the credits roll, you can hear a sad Whitney Houston song playing in celebration of Barney's miraculous death.
Barney Gets Killed (2009-2015) Edit
Main article: Kill Barney (TV show)
On September 18, 2009, around 10:37 PM that evening, Barney suddenly died a slow but very painful death. After the report of his death went viral, a brand new TV series was aired on Adult Swim as a contribution to Barney the Dinosaur's death, called Kill Barney (TV show). The series was about The Many Deaths of Barney, following a pile of episodes featuring Barney's misadventures of getting killed and experiencing various ways of Barney getting killed. In 2010, people began making YouTube Poop videos about Barney getting killed. In 2011, YouTube was full of thousands of Barney parody videos where Barney gets killed so many times. In 2012, Barney was no longer allowed to be mentioned on Sesame Street, because of the stupidity and idiocy he taught Elmo there. In 2013, Barney & Friends unfortunately showed reruns on PBS Kids Channel. In 2014, Barney began rolling in his grave, probably because Cookie Monster from Sesame Street was becoming a Veggie Monster, and that the government never paid back any of Barney's profit. In July 2014, Kill Barney (TV show) began its third season and passed the 50 episode milestone in September 2014. In March 2015, Barney was considered to be "forgotten from Children's television forever"! However, there have been a few drawbacks to this phase of Barney getting killed in today's society.
Post-Barney extinction (2015-present) Edit
In 2015, Barney finally became extinct and died for the sake of reality. As the Post-Barney extinction has developed and Barney the Dinosaur is dead, the sake of mankind has been saved all thanks to the total extinction of Barney. Now that the extinction of Barney has finally begun, now we don't have to worry about Barney haunting our children's lives anymore! However, he may now be attacking little 1 year old babies in Africa and Germany. In the end, Barney the Dinosaur is dead, and now we don't have to have nightmares about him anymore!
Resurrection of Barney (2017-2019?) Edit
Coming 2017-January 2019?
Future of Barney (Coming 2020) Edit
Coming January 2020
"Barney is a stupid purple dinosaur, but if he is a dinosaur, then why didn't he go extinct over 65 million years ago? If that asteroid back then k***ed all the other dinosaurs, then why didn't Barney d** along with them?".
Barney and the Backyard Gang Edit
See also: Barney and the Backyard Gang
Barney & Friends EditSee also: Barney & Friends
Criticism and controversy Edit
Barney (aka Barney the Dinosaur) is criticized by so many older children, parents, teachers, and news reporters, because most of them thought he was "stupid and annoying" after singing obnoxious songs all the time to 0 year old babies.
Barney the Dinosaur has been featured in many different urban legends all across the Internet.
Legends From Uncyclopedia Edit
Legends From Urban Dictionary Edit
Barney the Dinosaur is often parodied on the Urban Dictionary.
Legends From Wikipedia Edit
Barney the Dinosaur has come across many different urban legends on Wikipedia.
Legends From YouTube Edit
Barney the Dinosaur is featured in many different urban legends on many YouTube videos.
Legends From YouTube Poop Edit
Barney the Dinosaur is featured in many different urban legends on many YouTube Poops.
In popular cultureEdit
Barney has been featured in many popular culture videos on the Internet.
- !KILL BARNEY! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MMZ0qFlLXk).
- The Many Deaths of Barney (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBb7xllXRXg).
- Coming Soon.
- YouTube Poop: Benny Gets Fingered By Black People (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xe7N65GjbG0).
- YouTube Poop: Benny's Unusual Cow Parade (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aauZrLQinYk).
- Coming Soon.
- Barney was killed on YouTube over 1,000 times.
- Barney is ranked on TV Guide's 2002 Top 50 List of Worst Shows of All Time as #50. (Note: 50 was at the bottom.)
- Barney killed many other baby show characters, (such as Elmo, The Wiggles, Dora, Blue's Clues).
- Barney was addicted to drugs and cocaine.
- The guy in the Barney suit is actually Adolf Hitler.
- Many children and adults in the United States hate Barney the Dinosaur because he is for babies.
- Barney & Friends is Satan's favorite TV show.
See also Edit
- Barney & Friends
- Sesame Street
- Dora the Explorer
- The Wiggles
- Blue's Clues
- PBS Kids
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